Tim Chilestone is preparing to die.

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B
Ca, Adrian (1985-05-18)
Calder, Steph (0000-00-00)
Calderon, Camila (1990-12-05)
Calderon, Samantha (1982-08-03)
Calhoun, Patrick (1983-03-17)
Cally, Cally (1956-09-18)
Calvert, Brian (1976-12-15)
Calvetti, Rebecca (1985-03-10)
Campbell, Rhiannon (1990-09-30)
Carbajal, Veronica (1987-04-23)
Carl Montrell Wilson, Rat (1985-04-20)
Carney, Ben (1985-07-27)
Carrera, Ivan (1986-12-10)
Cars, Ariana (1993-09-24)
Carter, Amanda (1985-12-12)
Carter, David (1967-06-15)
Carter, Greg (1960-02-21)
Carter, Helen (1983-06-13)
Carter, Paul (1984-09-26)
Cartledge, Alastair (1984-02-10)
Cartwright, Adrian (1969-11-06)
Cassar, Richard (1971-11-13)
Catubig, Klaryssa (1992-06-21)
Cauty, James (1956-12-19)
Cauty, James (1956-12-19)
Cauty, Simon (1959-05-15)
Caycedo Mendez, Cesar (1968-05-27)
Ceci, Veronica (1978-05-16)
Centre, Natural Death (1973-05-30)
Chalmers, Wendy (1968-12-23)
Chambers, Richard (1972-02-22)
Chaos, Organiz3d (2999-01-01)
Chapel, Katie (1988-02-13)
Chaplain, Charlie (2008-02-05)
Chapman, Elizabeth (1990-11-28)
Chapman, Roger (1947-06-28)
Charnock, Ross (1977-09-16)
Chaudhary, Kumar (1981-10-05)
Chavarrķa, Maria (1990-04-29)
Chee, Melvin (1976-05-01)
Cheffie, A (1973-01-21)
Cherchi-bersch, Sebastian (1980-03-01)
Chesney, Sara (1991-04-22)
Chevez, Dalia (1983-08-23)
Chew, Mark (1985-10-10)
Chicken, David (1990-01-19)
Chicolino, Giss (1980-02-03)
Chilestone, Tim (1983-02-11)
Chimpaz, Gurner (2000-10-03)
Chipperfield, Ed (1976-03-24)
Chirunga, Precious (aka Kickie-dee) (1986-08-24)
Chrapko, Danielle (1985-03-11)
Chrapko, Danika (1990-06-30)
Chrapko, Desiree (1981-12-31)
Chylek, Adelle (1985-11-09)
Clark, Hollie (1989-07-26)
Clark, Jacki (1974-04-23)
Cleemann, Sebi (1979-09-29)
Cleeves, Paul (1973-10-29)
Clewes, Sam (1978-12-12)
Coates, Sophie (1991-07-29)
Coates, Tim (1972-08-21)
Cobley, Nick (1986-05-15)
Cock, Scar (1960-02-01)
Cocks, Andrew (1975-01-21)
Coke, Rob (1972-06-26)
Cola, Lola (1970-12-12)
Coleman, Harvey (1992-02-22)
Coleman, Harvey (1992-02-22)
Collier, David (1980-03-18)
Collier, Emma (1988-09-30)
Collins, Damien (1981-12-01)
Collins, Graham (0000-00-00)
Collins, Sinead (1975-12-29)
Collins, Stephen (1976-12-13)
Collis, Carol (1973-03-17)
Columbo, Steve (1978-07-08)
Colvin, Devin (1975-12-19)
Colvin, Devin (1975-12-19)
Colvin, Devin (1900-12-19)
Conley, Bob (1952-09-21)
Connor, Phil (1990-04-08)
Conroy, Ellis (1994-11-13)
Contreras, Jeanette (1968-07-12)
Cook, John (1970-01-16)
Cooper, Steve (1981-10-14)
Cormack, Mike (1979-08-05)
Cornel, Doug (1951-07-24)
Cortez, Delgado (1985-10-15)
Cosgrove, Conor (1971-08-23)
Cotlier, Sol (1977-06-28)
Cotter, Evan (1977-01-12)
Cotton, David (1973-03-23)
Cotton, Richard (1979-08-01)
Coulbeck, Simon (1972-09-19)
Coulter, Simon (1973-11-08)
Courter, Blythe (1987-12-29)
Coward, Simon (1959-07-07)
Coyle, Coyle (1526-02-23)
Crabtree, Martin (1977-05-01)
Craggs, Michelle (1982-12-30)
Craven, Lee (1990-01-07)
Crede, Alexander (1987-03-18)
Crews, Les (1985-06-13)
Cridland, Alec (1989-01-16)
Croft, Adrian (1978-04-18)
Croteau, Eddie (1978-10-30)
Crow, Kenny (1985-11-21)
Cryan, Dan (1978-06-04)
Cui, Carla (1975-06-06)
Cullen, Matthew (1975-12-09)
Cunningham, Simon (1981-05-11)
Currah, Varsana (1987-09-30)
Currell, Simon (1976-02-15)
Cusack, Sean (1986-12-31)
Cutlett, Lucas (1932-11-25)
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DISPOSAL
My sister used to get the "walked over your grave" shiver a lot, and claim she must be buried in a high street. that'd be nice. I'd like to be buried in St Neots Market Square, under the sundial at the time of day I carked it.

COFFIN
A novelty-shaped coffin which should be painted by Stanness (I wonder where his gran is?) Under no circumstances let Martin near it or he'll draw green leaves all over it. And they won't be very good ones.

RELIGION
Well I was christened when I was a baby. I'm hedging my bets here. I'm a lapsed Anglican if such a thing exists. But that's not to say that the Catholics/Mormons/Jews/Buddhists/Jedi are wrong. So when Judgement Day comes (they all seem to agree on this) I'm open. Pick whatever religion has the best funeral and I'm there.

GUESTS
Bar Liah. Anyone else is welcome.

MUSIC
Madness - One Step Beyond has been my choice for years. Not so sure now... I'll keep you posted. If I die before I decide, that'll do.

READINGS
Ezekiel 25:17 - "The path of the Righteous Man is beset on all sides..." etc etc etc from Pulp Fiction. The only verse from the Bible I know... My favourite lyric of the moment, by the way, is this, purely for it's pointlessness: "I met a girl, she asked me my name. So I told her what it was" (Razorlight)

EPITAPH
Fuck. Who shaved my big toe?

OBITUARY
I would love to be remembered for something great I did for society. Bollocks to that though. Hopefully I am rich enough by the time of my death to be remembered as "last year's Rich List number 2". Nobody wants to be Number 1, makes you look like a greedy shit...

OTHER
If anyone can be ordained as an Internet Minister that'd be quite cool.