Helen Carter is preparing to die.

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Ca, Adrian (1985-05-18)
Calder, Steph (0000-00-00)
Calderon, Camila (1990-12-05)
Calderon, Samantha (1982-08-03)
Calhoun, Patrick (1983-03-17)
Cally, Cally (1956-09-18)
Calvert, Brian (1976-12-15)
Calvetti, Rebecca (1985-03-10)
Campbell, Rhiannon (1990-09-30)
Carbajal, Veronica (1987-04-23)
Carl Montrell Wilson, Rat (1985-04-20)
Carney, Ben (1985-07-27)
Carrera, Ivan (1986-12-10)
Cars, Ariana (1993-09-24)
Carter, Amanda (1985-12-12)
Carter, David (1967-06-15)
Carter, Greg (1960-02-21)
Carter, Helen (1983-06-13)
Carter, Paul (1984-09-26)
Cartledge, Alastair (1984-02-10)
Cartwright, Adrian (1969-11-06)
Cassar, Richard (1971-11-13)
Catubig, Klaryssa (1992-06-21)
Cauty, James (1956-12-19)
Cauty, James (1956-12-19)
Cauty, Simon (1959-05-15)
Caycedo Mendez, Cesar (1968-05-27)
Ceci, Veronica (1978-05-16)
Centre, Natural Death (1973-05-30)
Chalmers, Wendy (1968-12-23)
Chambers, Richard (1972-02-22)
Chaos, Organiz3d (2999-01-01)
Chapel, Katie (1988-02-13)
Chaplain, Charlie (2008-02-05)
Chapman, Elizabeth (1990-11-28)
Chapman, Roger (1947-06-28)
Charnock, Ross (1977-09-16)
Chaudhary, Kumar (1981-10-05)
Chavarrķa, Maria (1990-04-29)
Chee, Melvin (1976-05-01)
Cheffie, A (1973-01-21)
Cherchi-bersch, Sebastian (1980-03-01)
Chesney, Sara (1991-04-22)
Chevez, Dalia (1983-08-23)
Chew, Mark (1985-10-10)
Chicken, David (1990-01-19)
Chicolino, Giss (1980-02-03)
Chilestone, Tim (1983-02-11)
Chimpaz, Gurner (2000-10-03)
Chipperfield, Ed (1976-03-24)
Chirunga, Precious (aka Kickie-dee) (1986-08-24)
Chrapko, Danielle (1985-03-11)
Chrapko, Danika (1990-06-30)
Chrapko, Desiree (1981-12-31)
Chylek, Adelle (1985-11-09)
Clark, Hollie (1989-07-26)
Clark, Jacki (1974-04-23)
Cleemann, Sebi (1979-09-29)
Cleeves, Paul (1973-10-29)
Clewes, Sam (1978-12-12)
Coates, Sophie (1991-07-29)
Coates, Tim (1972-08-21)
Cobley, Nick (1986-05-15)
Cock, Scar (1960-02-01)
Cocks, Andrew (1975-01-21)
Coke, Rob (1972-06-26)
Cola, Lola (1970-12-12)
Coleman, Harvey (1992-02-22)
Coleman, Harvey (1992-02-22)
Collier, David (1980-03-18)
Collier, Emma (1988-09-30)
Collins, Damien (1981-12-01)
Collins, Graham (0000-00-00)
Collins, Sinead (1975-12-29)
Collins, Stephen (1976-12-13)
Collis, Carol (1973-03-17)
Columbo, Steve (1978-07-08)
Colvin, Devin (1975-12-19)
Colvin, Devin (1975-12-19)
Colvin, Devin (1900-12-19)
Conley, Bob (1952-09-21)
Connor, Phil (1990-04-08)
Conroy, Ellis (1994-11-13)
Contreras, Jeanette (1968-07-12)
Cook, John (1970-01-16)
Cooper, Steve (1981-10-14)
Cormack, Mike (1979-08-05)
Cornel, Doug (1951-07-24)
Cortez, Delgado (1985-10-15)
Cosgrove, Conor (1971-08-23)
Cotlier, Sol (1977-06-28)
Cotter, Evan (1977-01-12)
Cotton, David (1973-03-23)
Cotton, Richard (1979-08-01)
Coulbeck, Simon (1972-09-19)
Coulter, Simon (1973-11-08)
Courter, Blythe (1987-12-29)
Coward, Simon (1959-07-07)
Coyle, Coyle (1526-02-23)
Crabtree, Martin (1977-05-01)
Craggs, Michelle (1982-12-30)
Craven, Lee (1990-01-07)
Crede, Alexander (1987-03-18)
Crews, Les (1985-06-13)
Cridland, Alec (1989-01-16)
Croft, Adrian (1978-04-18)
Croteau, Eddie (1978-10-30)
Crow, Kenny (1985-11-21)
Cryan, Dan (1978-06-04)
Cui, Carla (1975-06-06)
Cullen, Matthew (1975-12-09)
Cunningham, Simon (1981-05-11)
Currah, Varsana (1987-09-30)
Currell, Simon (1976-02-15)
Cusack, Sean (1986-12-31)
Cutlett, Lucas (1932-11-25)
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DISPOSAL
Please please please cremate me, you know I'm scared of dark, smelly, spider infested confined spaces, and I want to be gone, not rotting somewhere in a wooden box. Before I get burned, please donate anything useful to people who need it, whether it be organs or anything, but make sure they sew me up so i look ok. My scattering, scatter half of me over the sea and half in a pretty woodland area, but save a few grains of me for Kelling Heath, as my other half will know what that bit is for............

COFFIN
Cardboard or ne of those mew paper mache ones, painted black (any old black paint will do) with purple fabric inside, (silk or cotton or velvet), just pick a cheap roll from the market if your strapped for £, and please try and get them to lie me on my side, I cant sleep on my back. Could you please also put a pack of ciggies in with me, as heck, I'll be able to smoke without the guilt, and also a picture of my family.

RELIGION
I'm not a devoutly religious person, but I was baptised as Church of England, whatever that is?

GUESTS
I only want family. Its personal. I'm sorry, but I'm not keen on the idea of every Tom Dick or Harry I've ever swapped pleasentaries with to be there.

MUSIC
As coffin is coming in....When I see you smile by Bad English, played loud and bassy. Then my two hymns, Amazing Grace and The Lord is my Shepherd. Around here, play Def Leppard ..Two steps behind and Love bites. Alice Cooper - Poison (play it fucking loud, and everyone has got to sing it loud) As I'm going out play Keep on loving you by REO Speedwagon and Every rose has a thorn by Whitesnake with a bit of Daniel Powter.. Had a bad day.

READINGS
Just do a whizz through of the usual, she was great, wonderful, all the usual, a bit of crying and then a reading of footprints in the sand (its a biblical one, ask a vicar if your not sure).

EPITAPH
I was somebody. Who, is no business of yours.

OBITUARY
Happy loving woman, will be missed deeply by all. She knew how to laugh, love and learn. She loved her family, friends and animals.

OTHER
If per chance that Reverend Robert Marsden is still around, I would like him to do it, as he is the most coolest vicar I've ever met, and I know he will do a great quick service