Derek Hughes is preparing to die.

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B
C
D
E
F
G
H, Joshua (1980-02-20)
H, T (1991-12-14)
H, T (1991-12-14)
Hackenbush, Steve (1965-07-23)
Hagberg, Niklas (1987-01-16)
Hagström, Håkan (1978-02-25)
Hala, Hala (1984-11-18)
Hall, Adrian (1963-08-24)
Hall, Graeme (1981-09-07)
Hallam, Giles (1973-08-02)
Hallard, Mark (1980-02-09)
Hamilton, Lee (1970-09-17)
Hancox, Paul (1975-07-21)
Hand, Jacob (1979-02-18)
Hannigan, Mick (1953-04-28)
Hansen, Natalie (1982-12-16)
Harald, Bjorn (1973-05-06)
Hargraves, Ken (1973-09-02)
Harland, Joe (1973-05-19)
Harling, Craig (1968-06-03)
Harris, Jaded (1988-06-30)
Harris, Ruth (1985-04-11)
Harrison, Paul (1969-05-19)
Harvey, Suzanne (1983-10-01)
Hatfanny, Potato (1900-06-06)
Haumann, David (1954-02-01)
Haworth, Dave (1959-12-05)
Hay, Jack (1989-05-28)
Hayes, Dani (1990-08-31)
Haysom, Samantha (1985-10-09)
Healey, Alix (1984-08-24)
Heaven, Mansun (1978-08-03)
Heijmans, Thomas (1975-11-11)
Herrera, Anabel (1988-05-10)
Herridge, Neil (1983-09-25)
Heslop, Ben (1979-10-29)
Hi, Ho (1994-02-04)
Hickey, David (1960-04-02)
Hickey, Michael (1981-02-07)
Higgins, Shaun (1989-10-08)
Higginson, Katie (1983-04-01)
Higginson, Rod (1954-03-13)
Higginson, Stu (1971-07-05)
Hilken, Rob (1977-08-17)
Hill, Becky (1990-08-23)
Hill, Mark (1979-07-30)
Hinton, Andrew (1974-07-30)
Hitomi, Aome Hitomi (1986-03-10)
Hobday, Aaron (1991-06-28)
Hodgins, Spanky (1975-12-15)
Hoevenberg, Jeroen (1978-05-18)
Hoffman, Chris (1963-10-27)
Holland, Charles (1969-05-20)
Holman, Zachary "Perfect" (1979-08-15)
Hopkins, Rich (1962-01-11)
Hornby, Matthew (1991-05-26)
Hosick, Simon (1977-06-25)
Hoskins, David (1975-08-15)
Hotelling, George (1979-01-20)
Houston, Jacqueline (1970-01-20)
Howard, Colin (1970-09-27)
Howat, Simon (1967-08-24)
Howes, Samantha (1978-07-04)
Howie, Scott (1970-09-12)
Hubley, Christopher (1984-09-11)
Huddleston, Colt (1984-03-30)
HUdson, Misty D. (1976-12-28)
Huggan, Don (1957-06-10)
Huggett, Stuart (1973-06-06)
Hughes, Derek (1949-10-29)
Hughes, Pete (1970-04-21)
Hulsebos, Frank (1963-08-19)
Hume, David (1984-02-06)
Hume, Lee (1973-08-30)
Hume, Tom (1973-09-22)
Hummel, Antoine (1984-08-11)
Humphries, James (1977-06-10)
Hunter, John (1977-10-21)
Hurley, Cait (1970-02-13)
Hurlow-Hannah, Elizabeth (1941-11-12)
Hurst, Pete (1965-12-23)
Hutchinson, Heather (1973-04-24)
Huzzah, Hubert (1848-04-23)
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M
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O
P
Q
R
S
T
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W
Y
Z

DISPOSAL
Cremated and put in a Spode Pot on the shelf. The pattern has to be Blenheim. I've been obsessed collecting it so why not go "into" it at the end.

COFFIN
My first car, a Triumph Herald. I changed the gearbox so it won't go very fast.

RELIGION
The church os Stoke City with Jimmy Greenough as the preacher. I saw him score the best goal I've ever seen. He headed one in from 20 yards. It went like a bullet.

GUESTS
Any one who wants to can attend but..they have to wear something stupid. A Stoke footy shirt, cross dressing, a baloon, naked, painted spots, whatever...

MUSIC
Time to Say Goodbye... It's a lovely tune. Followed by, Don't worry, be happy and close with Del Shannons Runaway.

READINGS
Some Owd Grandad Piggott spoken by my mate Howard.

EPITAPH
He died small, fat and bald but lived a full life.

OBITUARY
A true Potter who ended up in California but still remembered his beginnings in Abbey Hulton.

OTHER
The meal should be Oatcakes with Bacon, eggs, black pudding and sausage. Baked beens are Ok but not necessary.