Bob John is preparing to die.

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J, Markus (1985-06-03)
J, Sarah (1985-02-21)
Jackson, Laura (1987-02-05)
Jackson, Paul (1974-03-05)
Jackson, Stephen (1970-02-08)
Jalex, Rikard (1990-01-31)
James, Jason (1974-01-23)
James, Peter (1957-02-01)
Jani, Glm (1948-09-17)
Jarvis, Michael (1986-10-10)
Jarvis, Ross (1975-11-30)
Jaskowiak, R (1971-01-01)
Jay, Jess (1985-06-03)
Jaye, Tania (1979-09-20)
Jeffries, Roy (1941-02-18)
Jenkins, Aubrey (1975-05-11)
Jenkins, Susana (1979-07-06)
Jenkinson, Andrew (1972-03-22)
Jennifer, Javier (1982-11-27)
Jennings, David (1965-07-11)
Jent, Matthew (1979-03-13)
Jessup, Edd (1990-06-28)
Jielka, Bulien (1967-02-20)
Jiji, Julia (1990-02-09)
John, Bob (1975-07-24)
John, Daisy (1985-05-02)
Johnson, Adeline (1991-09-19)
Johnson, Daniel (1970-09-29)
Johnson, Iain (1979-11-11)
Johnston, Andrew (1960-02-29)
Johnston, John (1988-08-08)
Jones, Andrew (1974-05-22)
Jones, Casey (1984-11-02)
Jones, Claire (1989-10-27)
Jones, Eli (1975-11-05)
Jones, Lydia (1974-02-03)
Jones, Ruth (1960-12-18)
Jones, Vanessa (1973-01-11)
Jones, Zara (1979-11-03)
Jones III, Quequegg (1792-06-17)
Jourdain, Henry (1972-11-30)
Jowers, SHARON (1980-01-31)
Joy, Nena (1945-11-08)
Jugon, Dean (1986-05-08)
Julian, Christopher (1969-04-30)
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DISPOSAL
A large black bin bag and a hole....

COFFIN
A large black bin bag.....

RELIGION
Being a true Satanist he really only beleived in himself and always thought that others should go fuck themselves...

GUESTS
Come one come all....

MUSIC
The first song will be Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails, 2nd Firestarter by the Prodigy as I'm going down to burn and finally I want Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd.

READINGS
N/A

EPITAPH
He's dead now, just forget him...

OBITUARY
This sad, poor and pathetic man was once a famous rock star, but alas his time has been drawn short. He will be remembered for his wit, charm, good looks and also his enormously large 12"inch cock. His relationships were many and very varied. He managed to bed all the cast of Baywatch in 2 days and found The Hasselhoff an easy adversary and a crap shag. HIs main achievement in life was finding the cure for boredom, his masturbating therapy gained much respect worldwide, but lacked any support from the vatican. But after a slightly heated conversation and a bit of fistycuffs with the Pope, the catholic church did change it's mind. His attempts at world peace were regarded as complete failures, but he gained much respect from world leaders "for at least trying to sound sincere". His 84 children will all be taken care for in his death, as he has hired a contract killer to take them all out at the age of 21. His 12 ex-wives all have been given a similar ate, but in much better aste. They will all be cut with large knives from head to toe and then made inton trousers for the Italians, they do love their fashion...

OTHER
One Hat Fucer...Mmmmmmmmmm