Emmy Maher is preparing to die.

M, C (1994-04-30)
MacArthur, Gregg (1973-08-21)
MacDonald, Chinstrap (1976-05-19)
Macellaro, D (1971-09-15)
Macgregor, Andrew (1973-12-26)
Mackendrick, Annabelle (1980-02-01)
Mackenzie, John (1967-02-27)
Mackie, Ali (1975-01-03)
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Macpherson, Stella (1977-05-18)
Madden, Hannah (1973-08-30)
Maddison, Daniel (1986-04-26)
Maddock, Julian (1958-08-12)
Maggs, Matthew (1974-12-28)
Maher, Emmy (1984-07-05)
Mahmud, Zeeshan (1982-07-26)
Maile, Jonathan (1970-05-02)
Mala, Dr Ongo (1970-02-06)
Malone, Derrick (1973-10-13)
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McCarthy, Ruth (1970-11-05)
Mccarthy, Ruth (1970-11-05)
McCarthy, Ruth E. (1970-11-05)
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Mcdade-burn, Skye (1986-09-29)
McDonald, Arthur (1965-05-07)
McDonald, Gail (1963-03-31)
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Mcfadden, Lee (1967-01-27)
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McHaffie, Andy (1968-07-26)
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Mckee, Shane (1987-09-15)
McKee, Shane (0000-00-00)
McKenna, Janine (1992-02-26)
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McLaren, Craig (1966-03-16)
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Meehan, Sean (1986-12-17)
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Mengmeng1, Mengmeng1 (1975-11-20)
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Meyer, James (1982-03-10)
Middleton, Andy (1975-04-18)
Migan, Melita (1971-12-16)
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Mills, Wendy (1971-10-20)
Milner, James (1975-08-14)
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Mitchell, Paul (1977-10-02)
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Moffat, Warwick (1971-01-18)
Mogren, Alexander (1986-04-01)
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Molina, Carlos (1964-10-06)
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MONTOYA, SELMA (1989-06-15)
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Murphy, Ian (1967-06-22)
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Murphy, Ramona (1991-08-19)
Murray, Craig (1980-06-05)
Myers, Wayne (1971-07-23)
Myhill, Phil (1978-07-01)

I feel, after all I have contributed to this world, that the only way to perserve my body and soul for all eternity, is for me to be laid to rest in my own glorious and decorative temple. I intend, while still living, to purchase the land and create this vast tomb, with secret passages and concealed traps. Once passed I wish to be placed within this tomb to rest. And I DO NOT WISH TO BE DISTURBED so it will be entirely secure, and all those who built it will have to be killed. The following is a list of items that I wish to bring with me Stovocor: - My Aston Martin DB9 (NOTE: Should I pass on before purchasing one - do not bury me until you have gotten me one) - A Horse to keep me company, You may kill it in the interests of humanity. - A top range sound system, with the selection of CD's I have placed under my bed. - My bat'leth and other weapons, I will need to be able to protect myself, once I hit Gre'thor. - Food and Bloodwine to nourish me. - Incense and candles to soothe me. - A teddy bear, left with the Music collection. Should any decide not to follow the specifically laid instructions here, I will personally insure that you wont be long in folowing me.

As I have already stated, I will be laid to rest within a grand tomb designed by me. I wish to be laid to rest on a marble altar with comfortable pillows and a nice duvet around me - I do not wish to get cold. The burial chamber itself, must be decorated in gold with many precious stones worked into the murals. Luxery all the way.

Having dedicated my life to the teachings of Klingon, I ask that those who choose to mourn me, show the same respect as I have shown them. How often have I had to sit through some borning wedding ceremony in a church, to watch some screaming ugly children being christened, or otherwise participate in a ceremony that meant nothing to me - now its my turn. See how you like sitting through several long hours of bloody reinactments of my death by honerable Klingon warriors. Klingon all the way...

Not to be too judgemental but none of the following are allowed entrance to my funneral: - Anyone who has passed before me - Anyone who assisted in my death - Anyone who owns a Britney Spears CD - Any sales people (on Duty) - Any scumbags The following are to be made very welcome and given a comfortable seat: - The King Andrew Maxwell - Any Metallica members (why not eh?) - Harry Potter - he is real! I read his book. Anyone who insists on walking on four legs should not be allowed enter. This, of course does not include Lady Samantha.

Here are the songs I want played at me funneral, in order: 1 - In the gadda de vida (Iron Butterfly) - to be played as an intro. 2 - Spongebob Squarepants - Opening Hymn 3 - Fear of the Dark (Iron Maiden) 4 - Freebird (live long version) (Lynard Skynard) 5 - Highway to hell (ACDC) 6 - No Leak Clover (Metallica) 7 - Overture to William Tell (Rossini) (Full version) 8 - The devil went to Jamica (Just in case he's watching) 9 - Stairway to heaven (Led Zepplin) (to be played as I am placed in my tomb) Should anyone (I am watching you Mammy) think to change the order or content, I will ensure that they will suffer my wrath.

In my memory, I request that Chris reads the entire text of 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' as we celebrate my life - that when when we meet up again, he'll have bloody read it! I also wish to have the following read: - A selection of quotes from Stargate SG-1, as provided by my Lord, Billiam Von Sexmachine. - The recipie of the witches brew from Macbeth. - The entire contents of that days Irish Times. - My horoscope. - The Lyrics to Fear of the Dark by Iron Maiden.

I want the door of my tomb inscribed with the details of every great battle I fought in.. and maybe some stuff about how nice my eyes were.

Emmy Jude Maher has passed away, Now its time for us to say, We loved her true, We loved her so, Now its time for her to go. She was a true beauty, And now its our duty, To love her true, To love her so, And now we have to let her go.

I place the disposal and revival of my immortal soul in the capable hands of Billiam Von Sexmachine.