Karen Nichols is preparing to die.

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B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N, Sarah (1982-05-16)
Nadia, Nadia (1986-02-22)
Najac, Jian (1973-02-19)
Naslund, Dennis (1980-10-14)
Neal, Andy (0000-00-00)
Needs, Alex (1974-01-23)
Negi, Pappu (1979-09-14)
Negra, Luz (1987-01-22)
Nelder, Seroc (1977-04-19)
Nelson, Jai (1976-10-22)
Nelson, Ryan (1976-01-22)
Neville, Tom (1953-07-13)
Newstar, Shelly (1978-10-18)
Newton, N/a (1994-01-07)
Nice, Bee (1964-01-09)
Nichol, Brenda (1972-10-14)
Nichols, Karen (1967-01-03)
Nicolis, Anna (1990-11-06)
Niemann, Bjarke (1982-01-07)
Nigam, Nigam (1987-08-01)
Nige, Nigie (1973-01-01)
Nimmo, David (1977-06-30)
No, No (1987-10-03)
Nodar, Dar (1973-11-13)
Noel, Letitia (1952-12-25)
None, Karen (1983-12-18)
Northam, Nicole (1980-11-10)
Norwood, Joseph (1986-04-14)
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Q
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S
T
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V
W
Y
Z

DISPOSAL
I don't want to be cremated - I've done enough damage to the ozone layer. Bury me in the garden, so I can give my husband the creeps. My dog is working on the hole as I write - he's only a chihuahua, but he's a determined little bugger.

COFFIN
WOODEN COFFINS ARE OUTRAGEOUS!! To kill a tree just to bury it in the ground, or even worse, burn it should be against the law! Wrap me in an old sheet or something. Or not. Whatever. BUT NO WOODEN BOX!!

RELIGION
I believe in what I can see and what I can touch, so if I HAD to have a religion, I 'spose it'd have to be Pagan....ish. Or that lot with all the Karma - I like that Karma thing a LOT.

GUESTS
Whoever. But no old grannies who I don't know and never met, who are just there forthe free food, booze and entertainment.

MUSIC
Myfanwy sung by The Treorchy Male Voice Choir; Diamond Smiles - The Boomtown Rats; The Great Song Of Indifference - Bob (sexpot) Geldof; These Days - Bon Jovi.....and squillions of others...plenty of Elvis too.

READINGS
Something by Spike Milligan and Pam Ayres, and The House At The Top Of The World by Bob Geldof.

EPITAPH
I told you I was ill.

OBITUARY
She always meant well. But it rarely showed.

OTHER
How many people do you need to dig a hole? No, forget that - my uncle's got a JCB, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind too much (as long as it's cash-in-hand).