Neil Rhind is preparing to die.

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R, Jr (1984-10-16)
Race, Anne-Marie (1968-09-15)
Raj, Mohan (1988-08-05)
RAJPUT, SANTOSH (1988-06-17)
Ralph, Owen (1994-01-30)
Ramirez Estelar, Ana (1989-09-01)
Rancid, Rikki (1992-01-20)
Random, Roy (1961-07-14)
Ranjan, Rohan (1985-11-03)
Rashkova, Neli (1989-06-12)
Ravenscroft, Leon (1973-02-11)
Rawlings, Del (1974-12-30)
Rawlins, Ric (1980-03-31)
Ray, Rajesh (1972-08-20)
Rayner, Nicholas (1980-11-12)
Read, Cam (0000-00-00)
Reducer, Soni (1979-11-12)
Reed, Bethany (1988-11-19)
Reed, Mark (1973-07-03)
Regan, Andy (1982-07-29)
Reith, Philip ATV (1977-03-13)
Relf, Kenneth (1973-09-02)
Remnant, Leigh (1981-07-15)
Remnant, Mark (1975-07-16)
Renju, Ab (1990-01-27)
Reynolds, GL (1970-03-22)
Rhind, Neil (1980-12-04)
Rhind, Neil (1980-12-04)
Rhodes, Ed (1973-07-06)
Rich, Dave (1974-06-08)
Rich, Matthias (1971-11-26)
Richards, Tim (1964-08-24)
Richardson, Alec (1983-02-17)
Richardson, Martin (1972-01-12)
Richardson, Marty (1972-01-12)
Richmark, Stephania (1989-01-24)
Riding, Alexander (1984-03-23)
Riley, David (1952-11-13)
Riley, Tim (1970-05-14)
Riskin, Neta (1977-01-01)
Ritchey, Slade (1976-10-01)
Rivera, Lucrecia (1985-04-23)
Roberts, Dawn (1971-04-26)
Roberts, Timothy J. (1979-11-19)
Robertson, Alex (1987-03-02)
Robertson, Scott (1974-04-24)
Robinson, Andrew (1968-09-04)
Robinson, Chloe Joan (1990-12-06)
Robinson, Mack (1992-12-28)
Robinson, Stuart (1976-11-11)
Roche, Jay (1968-05-20)
Rodri, Lica (1986-07-24)
Rodrigues, Jailson (1977-07-08)
Rogers, Anna Louise (1982-11-29)
Rogers, Julie (1968-06-01)
Rohloff, K (1977-08-16)
Rose, Ben (1984-11-06)
Rose, Carson (1991-10-03)
Rose, Jane (1973-03-09)
Ross, David (1974-12-07)
Rossignol, Jim (1978-07-18)
Rothery, Barry (1957-04-29)
Rothery, Barry (1957-04-29)
Rowe, Gavin (1973-02-06)
Roy, Leanne (1987-02-23)
Rudd, Adam (1971-09-21)
Runde, Řystein (0000-00-00)
Rusche, Miss (1960-01-01)
Russell, Green (1973-04-29)
Russett, SC (1975-04-03)
Russo, Paul (1970-04-21)
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DISPOSAL
I want to be eaten by wolves. This will probably involve dropping me from a helicopter somewhere in Italy. I should be dropped hard, just to give the wolves a challenge.

COFFIN


RELIGION
If I have lived a bad life, I will go to Hell. Which is in Mayfield, beyond Dalkeith. There I will serve Satan by asking members of the public stupid questions about what they bought at Scotmid. No. I will go to Valhalla. There I will ask the gods questions about what they bought in Scotmid.

GUESTS


MUSIC


READINGS


EPITAPH


OBITUARY
Neil Rhind was, among other things, a disorganised bastard. Far from being prepared to die, he was in fact completely unable to remember his password, or, for that matter, which of the many e-mail addresses he had at the time he used as his user ID on www.mydeath.net. Hence, the existence of two Neil Rhinds with the same birthday. (It would have been nice if one were a gothic doppleganger of the other who would survive him after death, but we`re not talking Poe here, we`re talking amnesia). Born in Aberdeen, raised in Elgin and educated in Edinburgh, he had not by the age of 21 got round to doing anything he would put in an obituary. Or at least nothing he could safely let slip while still alive. He didn`t even manage to remove the embarrassing jokes about stuffing his deceased member (see above.) He was not a local historian from the south of England.

OTHER
Rory Watt Morrison organises all the flat bills, so he can organise my funeral too.