ewan swain is preparing to die.

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S, Bella (2004-06-01)
Saan, Des (1983-02-27)
Saint, Cristopher (1970-01-01)
Salmiakki, Lilja (1981-10-25)
Sanchez, Darlyn (1990-12-01)
Sanders, Russ (1964-04-20)
Sano, Sakimi (1993-04-03)
Santorinni, Carolinee (1992-01-29)
Sara, Mj (1998-01-20)
Sarah, Sarah (1983-03-08)
Sauers, Gabriel (1988-11-05)
Saul, George (1974-06-05)
Saville, Davy "went Out Singing" (1972-12-10)
Schaefer, James (1980-09-08)
Schilling, Sheila (1981-09-05)
Schmidt, Klaus (1982-09-16)
Schmitt, Kass (0000-00-00)
Schonfeld, Yaniv (1984-07-29)
Schroeer, Karsten (1968-07-06)
Schwertgen, David (1975-06-23)
Schwinzerl, Martin (1979-02-19)
Scott, David (1970-04-30)
Scott, Shelly Rae (1973-07-17)
Scott, Viki (1990-07-05)
Scrivener, John (1977-03-23)
Scullion, Cathal (1977-10-19)
Seace, Rob (1971-08-08)
Sears, Hayley (1981-04-11)
Segovia Borcsoque, Camila Fernanda (1994-07-29)
Selby, James (1976-09-21)
Selin, Pete (1975-01-15)
Sergeant, Richard (1974-07-15)
Shackleton, Carol (1965-11-23)
Shade, Chris (1975-04-24)
Sharma, Kumar (1983-02-10)
Sharp, Alice (1989-11-18)
Sharrock, Dylan L (1976-02-04)
Shaw, Edward (1986-04-23)
Shayah, Beth (1980-09-20)
Shell, Shell (1971-08-11)
Sheppard, Katie (1992-02-16)
Sheridan, Paul (1973-03-14)
Shiouwza, Gary (1987-09-11)
Shipman, David (1983-02-18)
Shukla, Ankur (1981-05-02)
Silvester, Andrew (1972-02-20)
Sim, Jodeigh (1987-12-17)
Simmonds, Gareth (1989-12-20)
Sims, Adam (1985-01-04)
Sims, Kenny (1990-08-24)
Sinclair, Neil (1979-02-03)
Singh, Pappu (1973-12-04)
Sinha, Shishir (1985-01-06)
Slattery, Mark (1975-02-21)
Slushie, Cherry (1991-09-19)
SM, Alex (1996-02-27)
Smale, Darren (1966-03-10)
Small, Sally (1973-04-01)
Smith, Ben (1967-05-05)
Smith, Christine (Kat) (1976-04-21)
Smith, Damian (1984-12-06)
Smith, Hugh (1990-07-04)
Smith, Lulu (0000-00-00)
Smith, Nick (1963-05-01)
Smith, Phyll (1971-08-08)
Smith, Rob (1984-04-24)
Smith, Roger (1990-09-24)
Smith, Scott (1988-10-16)
Smith, Verity (1979-06-11)
Snijders, Sylvia (1966-10-11)
Soell, Matthew (1973-12-31)
Sole, Richie (1973-02-29)
Solomon, Chad (1976-12-12)
Soohyun, Choi (1981-06-29)
Sorensen, Steven (1972-05-17)
Southern, Andrew (1974-07-06)
Spangler, Ashley (1987-07-30)
Sparko, El (1986-05-03)
Spedding, Simon (1962-02-03)
Spencer, Charlotte (1991-10-23)
Spragg, Graham (1989-08-11)
St-John LeBaptiste De Cont, Etienne (1982-07-29)
Standen, Jay (1969-11-28)
Stannard, Callum (1991-08-15)
Star, Elaine (1969-03-29)
StArLeTTe, PoRn (1986-01-17)
Stead, Theresa (1981-05-26)
Steponick, Todd (1975-11-06)
Stevenson, Vanessa (1978-04-24)
Stewart, Carol (1965-09-01)
Strick Van Linschoten, Alex (1983-11-08)
Stripe, Katy (1985-06-21)
Strongtea, Duncan (1969-04-04)
Strudwick, Paul (1971-04-09)
Stuart, Tony (1966-10-05)
Stubberfield, Patricia (1979-05-16)
Style, Noxe (2004-04-30)
Suddaby, Donna (1964-06-24)
Sullivan, Steve (1968-10-14)
Summers, Sita (1983-10-22)
Suriyal, Sin (1981-09-18)
Sutton, Marq (1975-07-01)
Sutton, Naomi (1988-05-31)
Swain, Ewan (0000-00-00)
Sweeney, Grace (1983-07-16)
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DISPOSAL
Mummification

COFFIN


RELIGION
A priest, a rabbi, a padre, a holy man and in fact any religious leader who wants to throw their hat into the ring. They all fight, bare chested and bare knuckled untill one is standing. He can then do the funeral in his own religious style

GUESTS
No Priests, Rabbis or Holy Men. And a procession of Kazoo players as they wheel my body in.

MUSIC
I am the Ressurrection by the Stone Roses. In it's entirity, with the 5 minute instrumental ending

READINGS
Everyone who is there can contribute a limerick about me, pads and pens to be handed out when they arrive

EPITAPH
Buggered if there is a god

OBITUARY
here lies the 5th beetle

OTHER