Rob Seace is preparing to die.

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S, Bella (2004-06-01)
Saan, Des (1983-02-27)
Saint, Cristopher (1970-01-01)
Salmiakki, Lilja (1981-10-25)
Sanchez, Darlyn (1990-12-01)
Sanders, Russ (1964-04-20)
Sano, Sakimi (1993-04-03)
Santorinni, Carolinee (1992-01-29)
Sara, Mj (1998-01-20)
Sarah, Sarah (1983-03-08)
Sauers, Gabriel (1988-11-05)
Saul, George (1974-06-05)
Saville, Davy "went Out Singing" (1972-12-10)
Schaefer, James (1980-09-08)
Schilling, Sheila (1981-09-05)
Schmidt, Klaus (1982-09-16)
Schmitt, Kass (0000-00-00)
Schonfeld, Yaniv (1984-07-29)
Schroeer, Karsten (1968-07-06)
Schwertgen, David (1975-06-23)
Schwinzerl, Martin (1979-02-19)
Scott, David (1970-04-30)
Scott, Shelly Rae (1973-07-17)
Scott, Viki (1990-07-05)
Scrivener, John (1977-03-23)
Scullion, Cathal (1977-10-19)
Seace, Rob (1971-08-08)
Sears, Hayley (1981-04-11)
Segovia Borcsoque, Camila Fernanda (1994-07-29)
Selby, James (1976-09-21)
Selin, Pete (1975-01-15)
Sergeant, Richard (1974-07-15)
Shackleton, Carol (1965-11-23)
Shade, Chris (1975-04-24)
Sharma, Kumar (1983-02-10)
Sharp, Alice (1989-11-18)
Sharrock, Dylan L (1976-02-04)
Shaw, Edward (1986-04-23)
Shayah, Beth (1980-09-20)
Shell, Shell (1971-08-11)
Sheppard, Katie (1992-02-16)
Sheridan, Paul (1973-03-14)
Shiouwza, Gary (1987-09-11)
Shipman, David (1983-02-18)
Shukla, Ankur (1981-05-02)
Silvester, Andrew (1972-02-20)
Sim, Jodeigh (1987-12-17)
Simmonds, Gareth (1989-12-20)
Sims, Adam (1985-01-04)
Sims, Kenny (1990-08-24)
Sinclair, Neil (1979-02-03)
Singh, Pappu (1973-12-04)
Sinha, Shishir (1985-01-06)
Slattery, Mark (1975-02-21)
Slushie, Cherry (1991-09-19)
SM, Alex (1996-02-27)
Smale, Darren (1966-03-10)
Small, Sally (1973-04-01)
Smith, Ben (1967-05-05)
Smith, Christine (Kat) (1976-04-21)
Smith, Damian (1984-12-06)
Smith, Hugh (1990-07-04)
Smith, Lulu (0000-00-00)
Smith, Nick (1963-05-01)
Smith, Phyll (1971-08-08)
Smith, Rob (1984-04-24)
Smith, Roger (1990-09-24)
Smith, Scott (1988-10-16)
Smith, Verity (1979-06-11)
Snijders, Sylvia (1966-10-11)
Soell, Matthew (1973-12-31)
Sole, Richie (1973-02-29)
Solomon, Chad (1976-12-12)
Soohyun, Choi (1981-06-29)
Sorensen, Steven (1972-05-17)
Southern, Andrew (1974-07-06)
Spangler, Ashley (1987-07-30)
Sparko, El (1986-05-03)
Spedding, Simon (1962-02-03)
Spencer, Charlotte (1991-10-23)
Spragg, Graham (1989-08-11)
St-John LeBaptiste De Cont, Etienne (1982-07-29)
Standen, Jay (1969-11-28)
Stannard, Callum (1991-08-15)
Star, Elaine (1969-03-29)
StArLeTTe, PoRn (1986-01-17)
Stead, Theresa (1981-05-26)
Steponick, Todd (1975-11-06)
Stevenson, Vanessa (1978-04-24)
Stewart, Carol (1965-09-01)
Strick Van Linschoten, Alex (1983-11-08)
Stripe, Katy (1985-06-21)
Strongtea, Duncan (1969-04-04)
Strudwick, Paul (1971-04-09)
Stuart, Tony (1966-10-05)
Stubberfield, Patricia (1979-05-16)
Style, Noxe (2004-04-30)
Suddaby, Donna (1964-06-24)
Sullivan, Steve (1968-10-14)
Summers, Sita (1983-10-22)
Suriyal, Sin (1981-09-18)
Sutton, Marq (1975-07-01)
Sutton, Naomi (1988-05-31)
Swain, Ewan (0000-00-00)
Sweeney, Grace (1983-07-16)
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DISPOSAL
Burn my ass! ;-) Cremation is the only sensible option... Paying good money for a fancy box to stick my decaying corpse in, and bury it in an expensive plot of land is just fucking silly... Don't you care do such a thing to me, or I'll be angry! ;-/ Rip out any organs or anything of any use/value to anyone (though, I doubt any of them will be in very good shape by the time I'm done with them), then burn the rest, and dump the ashes somewhere... I don't care where... How about a garden or near a tree or something, so I serve as useful fertilizer, at least? ;-)

COFFIN
No coffin... Coffins are fucking stupid... Being buried is fucking stupid... Just cremate me, dammit!

RELIGION
There should be no religious overtones at my funeral... I hated religion when I was alive, and being dead isn't going to make me like it any more... ;-)

GUESTS
Anyone that wants to come is welcome... Well, except for Bill Gates or Steve Balmer: if they show up, kick 'em in the nuts for me! ;-)

MUSIC
"Too Old to Rock 'n Roll, Too Young to Die" by Jethro Tull; "Nobody's Fault But Mine" by Led Zeppelin; "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" by George Thorogood; "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" by Jimi Hendrix

READINGS
Any quotes from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" would suit me fine... Especially the Agrajag bit from "Life, The Universe, and Everything"...

EPITAPH
Since I'm going to be cremated and not buried, there won't be any epitaph... However, if I had one, I'd want it to read: "Life sucked!"... ;-)

OBITUARY
[*to be read in a passable imatation of John Cleese's voice*] 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This programmer is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PROGRAMMER!!

OTHER
Like I said before: I don't have to worry about this crap; whoever is still alive after me can get stuck dealing with it... Sorry in advance, whoever you are... ;-)