Robert Telford is preparing to die.

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T, K (1953-11-10)
T, M (1987-05-10)
T, Sian (1983-03-14)
Tacker, John-Michael (1993-12-24)
Tait, Ken (1966-02-22)
Tate, Chris (1971-12-31)
Tayeng, Butengt (1989-07-05)
Taylor, Catriona (1982-01-27)
Taylor, Sebastian (1972-08-27)
Teer, Phil (1967-05-18)
Telford, Robert (1984-01-01)
Telling, NOT (1989-05-09)
Tenebrarum, V (1985-03-20)
Test, Test (1973-04-05)
Thailand, Nissy (1965-11-19)
The Bash, Ash (1976-10-20)
The Lizard Boy, Raul (1988-01-07)
The Quizmaster, Ade (1976-05-01)
The Younger, Tom (1972-08-14)
The-Thirdman, Tim (1963-08-24)
TheLepper, Klepper (1970-03-22)
Thomas, Nathan (1991-01-14)
Thomas, Patrick (1958-04-28)
Thompson, Dan (1974-06-17)
Thompson, Flex (1986-04-12)
Thompson, Jennifer (1980-06-05)
Thompson, Jenny (1989-03-02)
Thompson, Joanna (1985-02-28)
Thompson, Kyle (1976-07-04)
Thompson, Martin (1975-03-02)
Thompson, Mel (1986-08-17)
Thompson, Susannah (1974-08-07)
Thompson, Tracey (1974-02-13)
Thornburgh, Max (1974-01-18)
Thornburgh, Rudi (1977-06-22)
Thornton, Kelly (1982-08-31)
Thurston, Ruby (1988-07-04)
Tilbury, Lawry Joseph (1980-07-10)
Timelord, Ford (1988-05-28)
Tingle, William (1978-06-27)
Titley, Daniel (1980-05-20)
Tomatoes, Puree (1977-12-26)
Torres Carigga, Alonso (1989-03-22)
Tourle, Stuart (1979-08-08)
Toy, Anthony (0000-00-00)
Traynor, Jo (1984-11-25)
Tremaine, Sonny (1981-08-30)
Tresadern, Heidi (1978-06-28)
Tribe, Michelle (1974-01-08)
Trostancki, Lucas (1981-03-29)
Troughton, Mark (1965-05-09)
Turnbull, Alex (1978-07-22)
Turner, Craig (1979-08-23)
Turner, Gemma (1989-11-03)
Turner, Oliver (1981-12-08)
Twine, Jamie (1973-11-10)
Twisselmann, Keike (1967-07-29)
Tyrer, Dave (1966-01-08)
Tyzack, Parry (1966-06-06)
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DISPOSAL
I don't really care whether I'm buried or cremated. It's irrelevant. I'm dead, aren't I? Whichever is more economically, logistically and environmentally feasible. Having said all that, if I am cremated, I don't really care where my ashes go. If I'm buried, I'd like it to be in Leicester.

COFFIN
I don't really care what the coffin's like.

RELIGION
I am an "actively religious person" but I don't want to have the whole "he's sitting in heaven right now" Christian claptrap at my funeral. I'm sitting in that coffin just over there, you fool! Well, what's left of me. The resurrection doesn't happen until some time in the future. I also don't want it to be in a church. But I'll say more about that under venue.

GUESTS
Everyone who knew me and anyone else who likes funerals. I don't want anyone barred. That would be silly.

MUSIC
Ron Sexsmith featuring Chris Martin - Gold In Them Hills

READINGS
T.B.C.

EPITAPH
I had to look this up in the dictionary. 1) The writing on your tombstone Here lies Robert Jesse Telford. Born 1 January 1984 in Leicester. Died ----- in ------. 2) A commemorative speech The speech is up to the people who knew me. I can't really comment too much on my own life. 3) A final judgement Up to God.

OBITUARY
I was born in Leicester in 1984. I lived there for 21 years with my parents and two sisters. Then I went to Cardiff University for three years and did a degree I didn't enjoy as much as I thought I would.

OTHER
If they're alive still, I want my sisters both to say something. Just share what they want to remember and keep about me.