Nina West is preparing to die.

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Wafwfwfe, 243fsa (1948-02-05)
Waheed, Naheem (1972-01-15)
Walczak, Matthew (1981-02-03)
Walls, Mathew (1985-05-14)
Walo, Love (1988-05-03)
Walsh, Greg (1978-01-06)
Walsh, Jason (1978-03-19)
Walters, Dom (1978-04-21)
Walton, Andrew (1984-11-17)
Ward, Angelee (1963-07-19)
Ward, Jon (1968-03-28)
Wardhan, Harsh (1985-12-21)
Wardner, Som (1979-12-26)
Warlock, Hippy (1958-10-10)
Warner, Greg (1964-11-24)
Waters, Alana (1970-10-13)
Weatherbee, Dave (1948-08-29)
Weber, K (1977-04-10)
Webley, Tina (1960-11-10)
Weiland, Michael (1980-02-23)
Weiss, Jonathan (1984-09-08)
Welch, Philip (1985-08-04)
Welke, Paul (1978-12-13)
Wells, Alice (1988-12-22)
Wells, Christian (1977-10-02)
Wennersten, Marie (1968-11-11)
West, Nina (1978-05-30)
Westberg, Vicki (1987-04-10)
Westerman, Robert (1961-12-27)
Westwood, Stevo (1965-07-23)
Weteland, Renee (1964-11-28)
Wheeldon, Emma (1979-05-19)
Wheeler, Jamm!n (2000-06-02)
Whitehouse, Benjamin (1979-02-22)
Whiteside, JAy (1983-01-03)
Whittle, Simon (1971-05-11)
Who, Aboutolou (1962-09-13)
Whos Fucked, A Dead Fucker (1984-09-11)
Wikström, Richard (1976-05-25)
Wilkinson, Dan (1092-10-12)
Wilkinson, James (1982-06-23)
Willetts, Lauryn (1985-01-17)
Williams, Alex (1980-06-13)
Williams, Courtney Elizabeth (1990-10-17)
Williams, Graham (1950-11-15)
Williams, Kelvyn (1970-05-10)
Williams, Luke (1977-05-17)
Williams, Luke (1977-05-17)
Williams, Rob (1976-05-31)
Williams, Wayne (1974-11-20)
Willis, Katy (1989-07-22)
Wilson, Andy (1959-01-24)
Wilson, Brandon (1989-06-14)
Wilson, Felix (1974-05-14)
Wilson, Gary (1960-06-22)
Wilson, Matt (1985-06-16)
Wilson, Scott (1970-07-06)
Wilson, Scott (1970-07-06)
Wilson, Thomas (1977-08-29)
Wiltshire, Adam (1990-09-27)
Windsor, Clare (1972-12-10)
Winston, Byron (1976-08-16)
Winter, Cassy (1974-11-07)
Winter, Nicole (1982-08-19)
Wirth, Billy (1974-06-20)
Wise, Alicia (1969-10-27)
Wiseman, Nathan (1971-08-10)
Wood, Ed (1978-09-01)
Wood, Philip (1982-09-08)
Woods, Graham (1975-06-21)
Woods, Paul (1900-01-21)
Wormtongue, Grima (0000-00-00)
Worsfold, Emma (1985-08-07)
Worthington, Nicholas (1978-10-01)
Wozniak, Donna (1960-04-03)
Wozniak, Gregory (1959-11-18)
Wright, Laurie (1950-07-07)
Wright, Li-An (1986-09-09)
Wright, Robert (1972-03-09)
Wright, Sadie-Leanne (1987-02-12)
Wrightson, Bob (1971-09-17)
Wyman, Sean (1983-10-18)
Y
Z

DISPOSAL
Fly me by helicopter to the middle of the south-west Tasmanian wilderness. Drop me out. Let my corpse be of some use, as breakfast for the Tasmanian Tigers.

COFFIN
As Commander Worf once said, my body will now be "just an empty shell, treat it as such". I'm claustrophobic and don't want to be trapped in a box. See Disposal.

RELIGION
Anti-nihilist. I believe in everything. You can't really go wrong. But if you are going to observe some Christian rites, make sure there is mention of Discordia, Allah, Horus, mermaids and goblins.

GUESTS
Anyone can come, as long as they cry.... a lot.

MUSIC
Down in the Park - Gary Numan Resigned - Blur (if I commit suicide) Adagio - Albioni Like to see a dry eye in the place when they put that one on.

READINGS
Resumé - Dorothy Parker "Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live." Under no circumstances may the uncharismatic guy from the funeral home speak who, hopefully, has never met me.

EPITAPH
Was she a mermaid?

OBITUARY
She was.

OTHER