Alex Williams is preparing to die.

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Wafwfwfe, 243fsa (1948-02-05)
Waheed, Naheem (1972-01-15)
Walczak, Matthew (1981-02-03)
Walls, Mathew (1985-05-14)
Walo, Love (1988-05-03)
Walsh, Greg (1978-01-06)
Walsh, Jason (1978-03-19)
Walters, Dom (1978-04-21)
Walton, Andrew (1984-11-17)
Ward, Angelee (1963-07-19)
Ward, Jon (1968-03-28)
Wardhan, Harsh (1985-12-21)
Wardner, Som (1979-12-26)
Warlock, Hippy (1958-10-10)
Warner, Greg (1964-11-24)
Waters, Alana (1970-10-13)
Weatherbee, Dave (1948-08-29)
Weber, K (1977-04-10)
Webley, Tina (1960-11-10)
Weiland, Michael (1980-02-23)
Weiss, Jonathan (1984-09-08)
Welch, Philip (1985-08-04)
Welke, Paul (1978-12-13)
Wells, Alice (1988-12-22)
Wells, Christian (1977-10-02)
Wennersten, Marie (1968-11-11)
West, Nina (1978-05-30)
Westberg, Vicki (1987-04-10)
Westerman, Robert (1961-12-27)
Westwood, Stevo (1965-07-23)
Weteland, Renee (1964-11-28)
Wheeldon, Emma (1979-05-19)
Wheeler, Jamm!n (2000-06-02)
Whitehouse, Benjamin (1979-02-22)
Whiteside, JAy (1983-01-03)
Whittle, Simon (1971-05-11)
Who, Aboutolou (1962-09-13)
Whos Fucked, A Dead Fucker (1984-09-11)
Wikström, Richard (1976-05-25)
Wilkinson, Dan (1092-10-12)
Wilkinson, James (1982-06-23)
Willetts, Lauryn (1985-01-17)
Williams, Alex (1980-06-13)
Williams, Courtney Elizabeth (1990-10-17)
Williams, Graham (1950-11-15)
Williams, Kelvyn (1970-05-10)
Williams, Luke (1977-05-17)
Williams, Luke (1977-05-17)
Williams, Rob (1976-05-31)
Williams, Wayne (1974-11-20)
Willis, Katy (1989-07-22)
Wilson, Andy (1959-01-24)
Wilson, Brandon (1989-06-14)
Wilson, Felix (1974-05-14)
Wilson, Gary (1960-06-22)
Wilson, Matt (1985-06-16)
Wilson, Scott (1970-07-06)
Wilson, Scott (1970-07-06)
Wilson, Thomas (1977-08-29)
Wiltshire, Adam (1990-09-27)
Windsor, Clare (1972-12-10)
Winston, Byron (1976-08-16)
Winter, Cassy (1974-11-07)
Winter, Nicole (1982-08-19)
Wirth, Billy (1974-06-20)
Wise, Alicia (1969-10-27)
Wiseman, Nathan (1971-08-10)
Wood, Ed (1978-09-01)
Wood, Philip (1982-09-08)
Woods, Graham (1975-06-21)
Woods, Paul (1900-01-21)
Wormtongue, Grima (0000-00-00)
Worsfold, Emma (1985-08-07)
Worthington, Nicholas (1978-10-01)
Wozniak, Donna (1960-04-03)
Wozniak, Gregory (1959-11-18)
Wright, Laurie (1950-07-07)
Wright, Li-An (1986-09-09)
Wright, Robert (1972-03-09)
Wright, Sadie-Leanne (1987-02-12)
Wrightson, Bob (1971-09-17)
Wyman, Sean (1983-10-18)
Y
Z

DISPOSAL
Burn me, burn me good then scatter my ashes in about a dozen different locations. Let no-one know where you scattered them so there'll be no trace of me left on this earth. Carry the urn around if you want to, put some in someone's coffee, use some as cat litter, salt your drive with it, whatever.

COFFIN
Find the sort of wood that Screams when it burns, stick me in that and then cremate me. Heh heh heh.

RELIGION


GUESTS
I want them to be thought of as PARTY-GOERS not mourners, and anyone who wants to can come. I want my funeral advertised as a gig in all the music publications. My friends and acquaintances can get in free, everyone else can buy tickets. All the proceeds to be put in my screaming coffin and burned with me. Except that Mike will probably nab them, the tea leaf, and good luck to him.

MUSIC
The Residents - The Third Reich and Roll Ground Zero - Consume Red Young Fresh Fellows - Celebration The Devil and Casey Jones - So I'm dead? So what of it? Playful Animated Corpses - Mind your winklepickers, that's my grave you're dancing on.

READINGS
Read the funniest lonely hearts ads from last weeks WHY magazine.

EPITAPH
Bruce Wayne n'est-ce pas?

OBITUARY
Alex Williams lived slow and died old. (I goddamn hope). Alex Williams was a guy who did some stuff, but it wasn't like he cured cancer or anything, so I wouldn't worry about it. Alex Williams should've lived life as it should've been lived but got a little confused. Alex Williams is dead now, Get Over It. I said get over it!

OTHER
Just keep any form of religion out of it