suzanne yada is preparing to die.
Yada, Elizabeth (1984-02-01)
Yada, Suzanne (1980-12-20)
Yargfools, Jewels (1961-12-17)
Yates, Kathryn (1984-11-12)
Yau, Kenneth (1974-02-25)
Young, Jac (1987-12-11)
Young, Stuey (1968-02-16)
Young, Tracey (0000-00-00)
Yourick, Katie (1991-08-13)
YUNG, CJ (1993-01-10)
uu church of berkeley
not barring a single soul.
You'll probably play Fire and Rain because it has the phrase "Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you." Hopefully I don't go that way, but regardless, you are hereby legally required to play Happy Phantom by Tori Amos.
If my old friends have access to Xanga and had a favorite post, or if you find a passage from my old chapbook, that would be lovely. just make sure it's something from the heart and not some minister donning an NPR voice.
Do that thing you've always wanted to do before it's too late.
if you hear these words, i am probably dead.
it happens to the best of us. that's ok.
energy cannot be created nor destroyed. it only changes form. my energy is still in existence, somehow, some way. whether you believe it transforms into food energy for the worms, or you believe it escapes the physical bounds intact like smoke from a fire, it never goes away.
don't grab on to me and force me back down into form. that's like putting on muddy clothes after a hot shower. forget it. this is another form of existence, and i'm thrilled to finally see something different, experience something new, try another way of life and another way of thinking, feeling, operating. i have been trying to do that every day of my mortal life -- seeking a new way to think, function, act. and now here is the ultimate change, and you want me back? oh no no no no, i can't do that.
it's my time.
no matter what age, no matter what stage of life i was in when i passed, i can guarantee you it's my time. because i have MADE it my time. who cares if it was an accident? who cares if it was expected? death isn't something i can recant, and so i choose to let go, and i choose to make this "my time" to leave. that's a choice i have made, and i need all of you to make that choice too.
everyone nod your head in agreement. thank you.
i want to thank a whole lot of people. the obvious ones being friends and family, but i also want to thank the people, the random strangers, who have done things 60 times removed from me that have affected me. every action that everyone does causes a ripple effect, and i have been in so many of those wakes and tides, i couldn't possibly count them. every milisecond of every day, i have made ripples and i have recieved them. you can't deny the interconnectedness of everything. mortal eyes just can't see it.
thank you, world, for creating my environment. you have transformed me. i have learned so much, and there was no other way to learn it. thank you, world, for receiving my ripples, and letting me transform you. thank you, words, for the gift of communication. thank you, breath, for always being there for me until the final day. thank you heart, for carrying me each minute of my life. thank you, family, for producing my cells and fostering my soul. thank you religion, for teaching me the basics of moral choices. thank you, free thought, for placing the burden of moral choices on me and me alone. thank you, friends, for actually understanding. thank you ideas, for the revolutions you bring. thank you, creativity, for making life worth living. thank you, music, for being so intertwined in my mind, my heart, and my hands. thank you, printing presses, for not only supplying me and my family with finances, but for releasing words and ideas into the open. thank you internet, for liberating information and communication even beyond the printing press. thank you journals, for those days when life demanded to be spilled out in ink and text. thank you, government, for creating a system that may be flawed but still fostered its people. thank you, schools, for teaching me all the little details. thank you america, for being my well-paved home. thank you visalia, for teaching me what it's like to belong. thank you bay area, for showing me freedom. thank you, parents, for giving me freedom. thank you, friends, for giving me freedom. thank you, constitution, for giving me freedom.
thank you death, for giving me freedom.
amen, amen, and amen.