Megan Zakrzewski is preparing to die.

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Zakrzewski, Megan (1980-04-22)
Zamora, Vanessa (1981-04-01)
Zamurueva, Svetlana (1988-03-16)
Zarate, Julie (1970-11-17)
Zarustica, Peter (1976-10-30)
Zarustica, Peter (1976-10-30)
Zetina, Alma (1977-09-11)
Zldd, Zin Frntrz (1989-04-19)
Zucco, Juliana (1985-12-02)

DISPOSAL
After the manadatory waiting period of one year - I would like my ashes to be dusted carefully from the I-10/I-17 overpass during a Tuesday evening rush hour. Preferably in nice weather,when everyone has their windows down.

COFFIN
After cremation, I would like my remnants to be placed inside a Mr. Peanut cannister (cannister MUST be one of the type which is in the actual shape/appearance of Mr. Peanut himself). I demand that the cannister be held in the constant possession of Bryant Wanatowicz - to be carried on his physical person for a period of no less than one year from the date of my death, at which time the ashes may be turned over to my associates for spreading. (If this requirement is not met - Bryant shall be stricken from any inheritance.)

RELIGION
As I am not extremely religious, I would prefer that in lieu of a religious proceeding, my mourners should Google the words "bizarre death ceremony" and perform the first listed response to the best of their abilities. (Note - the current top ritual is the Tibetan Sky Burial)

GUESTS
Anyone who knows the secret password. Anyone who can giggle hysterically at the ceiling at 2:30 in the morning. Anyone who knows what it means to get the "WOWWAHS". Anyone who loves me and wants to see me off, or hates me and wants to dance on my grave. Anyone who knows that wherever you go - there you are. Anyone who recognizes that electric blue food is the devil. Anyone who loves cafeteria plates. Anyone who will say "Bloody Megan" in the mirror for me, so we can try to make it work! Anyone who would like me to reserve their parking space... Really - anyone cool.

MUSIC
I would like everyone attending my funeral to karaoke the song that reminds them most of me. After that - I would like my darling DJ friends to rock socks the rest of the night. My only specific request is that, as the sun is rising, you play Monty Python's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life". (Chromie - I know you have this somewhere.)

READINGS
Read it out loud if you must, but I was hoping this wouldn't be that sappy kind of funeral. Write it down, sign your name or leave it anonymous - and we will ask Stacy very nicely to make it into a scrapbook. It can be published to fund my holographic image thingy - or kept and passed from friend to friend to remind them of me over the years...

EPITAPH
X Marks The Spot.

OBITUARY
After a long, hard trial - Megan's theory that she could survive solely on caffeine and nicotine has, alas, been proven wrong.

OTHER