Patrick Gradwell is preparing to die.

A
B
C
D
E
F
G, G (1955-09-01)
G, Nick (1990-09-26)
G., Rekky (1990-04-14)
Gacia, PAULA (1973-08-02)
Gage, Nick (1974-08-12)
Gage, Nick (1974-08-12)
Gahdoffkoehrn, Katie (1986-03-09)
GALL, JEFFREY (1941-06-19)
Gallegos, Gabby (1970-06-20)
Gamble, Carl (1976-03-03)
Garcia, Paula (1973-08-02)
Garcia, Rick (1982-07-05)
Garden, John (1975-06-09)
Garden, Rose (1986-03-10)
Gardiner, Ian (1979-10-20)
Gardner, Aneirin (1987-10-26)
Garika, G (1986-04-20)
Gassmann, Alexander (1988-02-26)
Genzler, Martin (1976-02-04)
George, Gavin (1989-04-03)
George, Sashell (1983-05-13)
George, Zeaus (1978-06-20)
Gervaise Brazier, Jim (1976-06-05)
Gibson, Sophie (1990-12-21)
Gil, Diana (1991-01-04)
Gilbert, Jon (1972-03-08)
Gill, Reggie (1978-12-25)
Gill-Harrison, Kelvin (1977-05-30)
Gillespie, Bobby (1962-06-22)
Gilliam, Stephanie (1986-05-10)
Gillies, Rod (1970-05-23)
Gilmour, Christopher (1978-12-12)
Gimpo, Gimpo (1962-04-26)
Glenn, Jennifer (1986-05-10)
Gnihton Eht, The Nothing (1983-03-02)
Goede, Kathryn (1972-05-26)
Goldman, Eyal (1977-07-02)
Goldstein, Yuval (1978-05-07)
Gommon, Ed (1978-10-19)
Gonzales, Sofia (1978-05-30)
Goodman, Ross (2006-04-23)
Goodway, Beth (1990-07-23)
Gordon, Mart (1975-08-06)
Gorton, Nicholas (1971-10-27)
Gow, Alan (1973-12-11)
Gow, Charlotte (1979-04-05)
Goyal, Gourav (1992-02-24)
Goyal, Sandeep (1979-10-30)
Gradwell, Patrick (1974-01-16)
Graham, Phillip (1968-10-24)
Grange, Holly (1985-08-15)
Grant, Alyssa (1990-11-11)
Grant, Chris (1972-08-23)
Grant, Hijinio (1988-12-05)
Grant, Scott (1973-06-16)
Graves-johnston, Andrew Richard (1960-02-29)
Gray, Chris (1972-03-10)
Gray, Jackie (1986-02-27)
Gray, Patrick (1972-09-16)
Grears, Chris (1981-11-10)
Green, Dave (1973-06-04)
GREEN, DAVID (1973-06-04)
Green, Joshua (1980-05-26)
Green, Steve (1975-10-29)
Griffin, Carol (1983-11-07)
Guativa, Mauricio (1992-01-24)
Guest, John (1971-12-23)
Gul, Gulraiz (1985-10-24)
Gunning, Erin (1957-10-07)
Gura, Jemma (1972-09-09)
Guthrie, Blake (2007-05-07)
Guy, Ian (1963-10-29)
Gwyer, Matt (1989-12-03)
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J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
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Y
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DISPOSAL
Just one thing really - make sure I'm dead! Slap me about the face a bit - stuff like that. I would like my superbly crafted body to be served as lion food (wild only - zoo's are just evil) - considering the number of wild animals humans are wiping out I think it only fair that they get one back. If I must be cremated then it must be done on a bonfire at night, like at the end of Return of the Jedi - NOT in a furnace!

COFFIN
If I am to be lion fodder then it's really not necessary. If I am to barbecued then I insist upon a Bela Lugosi black badass bitch of a coffin with red silk lined upholstery. I will be dressed in a black pinstriped pimp suit with a huge Cuban stobie in the top pocket and a bottle of Metaxa by my side.

RELIGION
If God/Allah/Krishna/Yoda is a decent bloke I'm sure He'll be absolutely horrified by religion's human rights record, so I'll pass on this one. Patsy and the Grande Fromage will get on fine.

GUESTS
Anyone who fancies it.

MUSIC
'Hallelujah' by Jeff Buckley - always makes me shiver that one. 'Raindrops keep falling on my head' - sort of my philosophy in life so why not? Rather not have any of my own music played please.

READINGS


EPITAPH
I'm watching you

OBITUARY
Left the world in a slightly happier state than when he arrived.

OTHER