Steve Potz-Rayner is preparing to die.

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P, Chris (1967-11-08)
P, P (1983-11-07)
P, William (1975-03-02)
Page, Nick (1961-05-22)
Paling, Stewart (1972-04-22)
Palmer, Michael (1968-09-22)
Pant, Mahesh (1978-01-28)
Pardy, Brian (1900-01-01)
Paris, Blue (1969-07-22)
Parker, Jonathan (1970-12-19)
Parker, Weston (1982-04-22)
Parkin, Emma (1972-12-27)
Parrish, Mike (1987-04-17)
Parry Okeden, Nicholas (1988-07-29)
Pascoe, Gabrielle (1970-01-24)
Paterson, Phillip (1985-04-20)
Paterson, Stuart (1972-04-07)
Pathetic, Lib (1990-07-11)
Patil, Patil (1981-12-25)
Patrick, Kelly (1974-12-31)
PATTENDEN, Colin (2002-01-02)
Pattison, Ziekk (1984-05-15)
Pavlovic, Matija (1989-01-11)
Pawson, Spencer (1970-07-20)
Paxton, Kyle (1989-02-12)
Payfer, Tom (1957-08-02)
Pearce, Clare (1982-02-01)
Peck, John (1979-04-12)
Pedreschi, Aidan (1969-10-04)
Pelaez, Edgar (1984-09-11)
Pelaéz, Victoria (1985-11-02)
Peña, Marisol (1988-07-21)
Peñalba, Javier (1980-10-14)
Pennington, Emma (1989-03-17)
Peralta, Enrique (1978-06-03)
Perklington, Sam (1990-06-23)
Persse, Jason (1974-11-23)
Peter, Peter (1981-11-27)
Peterson, Sue (1961-12-05)
Petkovic, Drazen (1991-05-04)
Petty, Brian (1978-01-04)
Peyras, Gaelle (1983-05-31)
Pfeffer, Catherine (1946-05-16)
Philip, Brendan (1975-05-10)
Philipps, Sarah (1987-01-08)
Phillips, Roscoe (1988-03-01)
Pickering, Andrew (1976-12-31)
Pina, Aaron (1975-07-15)
Pipu I Sofi, Pipu I Sofi (1980-03-24)
Pirtola, Pilvari (2001-12-29)
Pist Off, Pissin (1985-12-01)
Planes, Alice (1979-11-06)
Plant, Danny (1977-12-13)
Plant, Kit (1974-08-08)
Plant, Mark (1980-01-22)
Plenti, Jules (1990-03-10)
Pocket, Polly (1983-07-11)
Polbäck, Jonathan (1977-12-22)
Pollard, Andrew (1972-12-26)
Pollard, George (1975-12-22)
Pollock, Stephen (1964-07-18)
Poopcheck, Stubbly (1976-10-23)
Pope, Phin (1976-03-12)
Poptart, Mister (0000-00-00)
Porter, Tom (1982-08-31)
Portugal, Diane (1983-05-26)
Potz-Rayner, Steve (1970-01-24)
Powell, Emily (1991-04-28)
Power, David (1977-08-02)
Pppp, Rrrr (1988-03-01)
Pradhan, Chintaman (1954-02-25)
Prass, Ram (1967-07-09)
Preiti, Matias (1989-08-04)
Presley, Lisa Marie (1981-07-15)
Price, Hannah (1992-03-13)
Price, Rebecca (1972-11-21)
Price, Rob (1985-07-28)
Priest, Gray (1976-03-11)
Prior, Rachel (1986-09-02)
Purcell, John (0000-00-00)
Puru, Puru (1984-08-02)
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DISPOSAL
Cremation, scattering at the exact same site as my mother at Vinters Park Crematorium, Maidstone, Kent.

COFFIN
Reeds or cardboard. Nothing expensive, nothing stupidly poncey. It's going to get burnt so why waste money?

RELIGION
None. I expressly forbid the bastard Church of England latching on.

GUESTS
I do not want my father or sister told of my demise until three months minimum after I have been cremated & scattered. These are my express wishes above all others and will not be countermanded.

MUSIC
As guests arrive: Bach's Toccata & Fugue, then 'Gorecki' by Lamb. 'Never Say Die' by Black Sabbath, played loudly just before I trundle into the flames. This to be followed by 'Bring Me Sunshine' as sung by Morecambe & Wise.

READINGS
Readings from any or all of the following: Joanna Potz-Rayner Thomas Potz-Rayner Tim Morgan Ian Lloyd Graham Mills

EPITAPH
No memorial except a rosebush, with: Steve Potz-Rayner January 24th 1970 - (date) Never Say Die! on the plastic tag thing.

OBITUARY
He didn't want to be around most of you. Now he isn't, and that makes him happy.

OTHER
No tears. Only laughter. Remember the good times.